goat slaughter

monday morning.. goat slaughter.

let me explain: a few people in our group had been wanting to purchase, kill and eat a goat. my thoughts were that, being a meat eater, i shouldn't be comfortable with eating an animal if i were uncomfortable with it being killed. plus goat is a common local meat i was keen to try, so in theory i wasn't entirely against the idea.

eventually it was arranged and the chosen goat was brought to our camp over the weekend. this already was fairly awful as i could hear him bleat at night knowing what fate lay ahead of him.. but what was even more disturbing in my eyes was how excited a few people were getting about the actual killing itself.. it became a big topic of conversation at dinner time and jokes were being made about it, so much so that when the time came for the killing, i was already feeling uneasy about the whole thing.

anyway. those who had helped pay for the goat all walked to where he was tied and waited for instruction. with everyone sitting around him i swear he knew something was going on, he just kept pulling on his rope and rearing up, his eyes seemed wide and confused.. and people were laughing at it!! some going right up to his face to snap photos, thinking it was all a big joke. i felt like i was watching a gladiator tournament in the colosseum, the crowd screaming with bloodlust, desperate to see carnage and rejoicing in the gruesome spectacle before them. i was furious. part of me wanted to just storm off in disgust and part of me wanted to stay and bear witness to what we were about to do, just to pay my respects to the goat..

one more look at him and i knew i couldn't stay. i walked off to the communal area and waited for it to be over.. jasmine came along with me, also revolted by those persons' attitudes. i was literally on the verge of tears.. i'd thought this would be a humbling experience - killing to eat, learning the value of life and respect for the creatures who give theirs up for us.. not a bunch of tourists with their cameras out waiting for a big show!!

eventually a big group of people walked back and said the camp staff had insisted one of them kill the goat, not one of the gappers as intended, and that only 4 of the boys be there to help hold it down. i was relieved that at least someone with experience would end it's life and that the spectacle would be lessened.. but needless to say, a few people, indignant about 'missing the show' and annoyed at being denied the chance to kill it themselves, went along anyhow and paparazzied away. i was so angry and repulsed i could barely eat my lunch.

needing to cool down about the goat, i went to work at the pit toilet after lunch and went nuts with cement.. poor sam had to deal with me slinging lumps of wet concrete at him and patiently let me paint his beard with it.. i forgot to mention that the 1-monthers had returned to muhaka in the morning so we had a huge group and work got done fairly quickly.. we were basically still just building up the walls.. placing bricks, mixing cement, filling in the gaps and mortaring them into place. it was a productive afternoon and it helped take my mind off the morning's event (:

dinnertime came, and with it the chance to eat our goat.. i was having mixed feelings about it but decided i would at least honor it's death by being appreciative of the food it had provided. our chefs had spent the day preparing the meat with marinade and spices and, once cooked on the barbeque, it was absolutely delicious..

all in all the day was a brutal reality check as to the violent nature of humans.. and although some members of our group will think back to today and groan about not seeing or killing the goat themselves, i hope it'll serve me as a reminder that meat isn't just something to eat but a living creature that has died in order to feed a human. and that is a lesson worth remembering.


note: in retrospect i realise i may have been a bit judgmental.. perhaps the others simply had a different way of going about the days event's and it's not my place to say which is right and which is wrong..