mixed feelings?

i'm now going off on a bit of a tangent - there's something here that i hadn't quite counted on, and that's the fact that we're all feeling a bit irked by the local kids. the young ones are harmless and lovely, just in want of affection. but we've quickly found that as soon as they're old enough to grasp a concept of money and possessions, the kids here try to discreetly get as much out of you as they can.. and it's not that pleasant?

to give you an example, the day we arrived we were warned by a camp guide not to accept or buy any bracelets off the local boys. thinking not much of it, we all went out and said hi to the kids over our first few days, answered their questions with our names and where we're from, trying to make conversation and be friendly. and only a few days later, all of a sudden the boys were showing up with threaded bracelets with our names on them, calling us 'my friend' and asking for money for their work?? a few people agreed and we were later told that these kids don't go to school and just hang around hoping they'll be able to get things off gappers, and that once you accept and wear their bracelet they believe they 'own' you in a sense and will not let you be from then on. i personally tried to decline my bracelet offer and we semi forced to take it as the boy then said it was a gift and he wanted me to take it anyway before he ran off.. it's now in my bag as a nice souvenir but i'm not gonna wear it. and it's just made me feel a little uncomfortable, because there's a solid group of them that really are always just hanging around watching us.. and the way they act is so sneaky!!!!

i feel i have to always watch my belongings really carefully and it's frustrating that 9/10 conversations you'll have with them (that i've at first tried to put my heart into) will end with them trying to give you a (usually) made-up sob story to get money or trying to take your hat or sunglasses or something of the sort. it's almost as though they're so used to seeing volunteers here now that they expect to get something out of us?? i hope i'm not being too harsh.. and to be fair it's not just me making this up, we have been told to be careful and asked not to encourage them. i've gotta say though that even after only 2 weeks it's getting on my nerves when i see the same faces just hanging around the top of the pit or approaching us whenever we leave camp. they're just always there.. and most of them are boys. and they just... stare.

i was so hoping this trip would provide opportunity to form ties with the local people and get involved in the community but for now that's not really seeming to be the case.. i also know one of the girls who volunteered to help out of the school has had mixed feelings towards the teachers' attitudes towards her being there. and the bricklayer hamisi on his second day of work brought some paintings he'd done, laid them around the hole and talked to us about them heavily hinting he wanted us to buy them?? when he's clearly been paid to come work here to begin with..

i'm trying really hard to keep an open mind and get out of this trip as much as i can, i think it's just been a not-so-exciting week and with everything compiling as well as a little home-sickness, i'll feel a lot better after a weekend relaxing with everyone and shaking it all off. i'm gonna try and see with the camp leader if there's a chance of us working on a different project next week when there's only 6 of us left.. i really want to work hard. regardless i'm looking forward to when we leave muhaka and spend time at a different camp to see what else is offered there.. perhaps i just had a really naïve outlook on what my placement would be like and i shouldn't've had those expectations?

~~~~~

re-read as im uploading.. i feel kinda shit about my tone in this post but i figure if you want to know what i'm thinking/feeling over here i can't just post the good bits?? im sure this will all be fine, its just gonna teach me thigns in ways i wasn't expecting and god knows i need more patience as a person anyway (: hope you won't think i'm a whiny princess now..

bricking begins..

so for the past 3 days now we've started building the walls of our pit toilet.. morning starts with pushing wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow loaded up with bricks, sand, 50kg of concrete and water to the pit until we've got enough to make a good amount of mix, then the sand, concrete and water is churned up in big, heavy shovelfuls until a decent mortar is formed. we form a chain down the ladder passing the bricks one by one to the bottom of the pit where they're stacked, then a big bucket full of cement is lowered to the ground. and pretty much that's the most exciting part of the day.. from then on, only 2 people can fit in the bottom of the pit with our helper dude Hamisi (a bricklayer from the community) and the rest of us just sit around the top of the hole passing time until it's time to swap over.

truth be told, i had an absolute blast on the first day (: i was keen to continue with our project, learn a new skill and most of all get my hands absolutely covered in thick, goopy cement.. i personally love thick mud and the consistency of the mortar is absolutely perfect.. it just oozes and squelches between your fingers and makes the most satisfying splattering sound when you slop it onto the stones. i was told my bricklaying was awesome and got called a gremlin by matt because i refused to get out of the hole for the first day.. i clambered out bespattered in gunk with a big 3-yr old smile on my face, the wall now 3.5 bricks high (:

from then on, i've gotta say it's gotten a little monotonous. i'd gotten used to the relentless pace of digging, the sense of purpose and the teamwork it required with everyone involved from start to finish. i'm finding myself getting quite restless and impatient at the whole deal, so much so that by today (the third day) after my hour and a half shift in the pit and a now 8-brick deep wall, a few of the girls opted for our team taking the afternoon off work because we were literally going mental just sitting around in the sun. not to mention that hamisi has turned out to be a little creepy.. i'd gotten an off vibe from him after the first day and the first shift that jane and i had in the pit, after about 3mins of conversation he started recounting in vivid detail that he'd found his wife in his bed with his best friend and that he was trying to track her down to punish her, then started asking us how old we were etc.. and although that might not sound that bad we were both pretty uncomfortable from then on, especially in such a cramped space underground where we can literally taste each others' sweat. to make matters worse, he had a tear in his shirt right at his nipple (which is really really unusually big) and it was rubbing against us whenever he turned around. awkward. i feel slack because he's doing a good job and all, i just.. yeh am not quite as keen as i once was to get into the pit now.

evenings since tuesday have been occupied with watching movies on my laptop and everyone kind of kickin it around camp.. i'm glad the 2-monthers have returned tonight as the camp is so much more alive again and we're all excited for a big weekend out and at the beach.. i'm starting to wonder if i should've done 2 months as opposed to 3 as the only difference between our two programs are that we've paid just over 2K more and are spending more weeks in a row doing construction at muhaka.. i'd thought we'd also be spending more time at other camps and projects but that's not actually the case.. their program has more variety, less monotony and i would've gotten back to sydney in time for my birthday and defqon.. but hey, everything happens for a reason and i guess i'll be learning different things with the choices i've made. i'm just not really looking forward to the 3-monthers remaining alone at camp next week for more bricklaying day in and day out..

trying to be positive as i'm still in africa and this is fucking awesome, but i think the initial excitement has died down a little now that i'm familiar with the place and seeing the full 3-month planner has kind of put things into another perspective.. tomorrow is beach and clubbing and i couldn't be more keen.

p.s. the wall is since much taller, i'm just waiting til monday for another update photo

days 4 & 5 digging

half our group (the 2-monthers) have gone to a marine park for the week and boy, our dutch beast-man (whom i call bear), is leaving for tanzania on wednesday so we basically have 2 days to finish digging our pit. we have at least 3ft to go in depth and a good ft around the edges to carve out because the walls have steadily sloped inwards despite our best efforts.. we all jumped in eager to smash it all out in a day and had reached 14ft before lunchtime.. we were ecstatic. we'd definitely finish today!!

after lunch we toiled on with renewed drive at being so close to our objective.. those bucketing with skin shredding from their hands as the haul upwards became harder and longer.. those in the pit dripping with perspiration in the thick, humid underground air, digging shovel after shovel into the hard earth as our backs and arms begged us to relent. the sun climbed higher in the sky then fell again, burning down onto our backs as flies drank at the rivulets of sweat streaking down our dirt-smeared faces.. and finally, after 2hrs of solid work, the tape measure was thrown down again.. only for us to realise the pit still measured just under 14ft?! how could this be..?? whatever the reason for previous error in measurement, it was terribly disheartening news and we reluctantly realised there was no possible way to complete the pit in one day, especially with the walls not completely straightened out yet.. the bucketers pulled up their last loads of earth and the disappointed diggers climbed back up the ladder and out into the open. we called it a day and went back to camp.

for the first time since my arrival at camp i crawled into bed early.. by 8:30 i had passed out.

------

after a solid 12hrs of sleep i felt amazing and ready to conquer the pit before lunchtime. i think every member of our crew was feeling the same way and we advanced to complete our task.. we decided on 3 rotations between bucketing and digging and i started on a bucketing shift heaving up load after load of earth. i'm fairly scared of heights and dangling over the edge to grab the bucket handle was pretty nerve-wracking at first to be honest.. the bucket channels had slowly scraped away more and more soil until there were veritable tunnels in the earth at the two hauling corners. if one of us were to fall in it'd be a few broken bones at the best and death at the worst, especially if we happened to fall on someone at the bottom.. i was so grateful to the plank of wood we fixed over the hole and held onto it for dear life each time i bent down to pull a bucket up.

after a while i was itching to get back down and dig and gratefully went down with the second rotation. from then on, i refused to climb out of the hole until it was completed, and for the next 2hrs or so my life was dirt. i've found this kind of manual labour to be so restful to my mind; all you think about is pulling your shovel up, digging down, lifting, tipping into a bucket and starting again. a routine settles in and eventually your muscles work of their own accord.. it was terribly hot and my back was aching as my shovelfuls steadily got larger and larger.. eventually the third rotation came about and joe and boy got in the pit with me and from then on it was all out. most of the sides had been shaped, it was now a matter of scraping and leveling out the floor and removing every last scrap of loose earth at the bottom. there was a huge cheer from the top of the pit as we leveled away the first half of the foundations and from there til the end i couldn't even feel my arms anymore.. all was pure excitement and drive (:

as the pile of earth in the center of the pit grew smaller and smaller, the work seemed even easier. we were so close to the end.. the last few buckets were pulled up a whopping 15ft from the base of the pit in order to clear out the last remaining corner and i don't know how that bucketing team managed but they were amazing.. and finally the last load came out and the pit diggers collapsed into a sweaty, smelly bear hug at the bottom (: beer was passed down and the three of us opened up our local 'tuskers' and drank to the huge feat we'd just accomplished.. digging a 15ft x 10ft x 7ft pit in the hot kenyan sun using buckets, ropes, shovels and hoes.. i never thought i'd be able to say 'yep, i did that'.

after lunch a few of us went to the supermarket to buy various food bits and pieces and beers, and that night we built ourselves a fire to celebrate the completion of the pit and boy's last night (: turns out jerry has an absolutely amazing voice and is nifty on the guitar so it turned into a campfire sing-along which i think was a perfect way to end such a great day (:

and then we commandeered a ship..

sunday was a chill day at the forty thieves (: alex and i spent a good hour and a half lying out on the floating platforms in the sun.. the water was amazing and i soaked up a lot of colour in that time.. it was such a relaxing day, i had a cheeseburger and a papaya, honeydew melon, strawberry & lime juice which were both absolutely amazing. i'm so at peace by the ocean, i just cannot get enough of the beach.. grabbed some internet time (as i guess you've noticed!!) which i've gotta say is a painstaking process as each photo takes so bloody long to upload.. but regardless it was good getting a peek at what you've all been up to (: it half made me feel worse afterwards because i'm now more aware of what i'm missing out on?? but to me it's better than no news at all, just smiling at people going about their everyday lives and talking in the same general manner they always do. i just miss you all so much!!!!

we went back to camp for dinner, celebrated yet another birthday (alice's) and then a small group of us decided to head back out to the forty thieves for the evening. we went out expecting a quiet, chill night by the ocean and ended up slamming down shots and the strongest long island ice teas i've ever had in my life, then just swapping stories and joking around in a vivacious drunken manner. i desperately wanted to build a sandcastle but no one really showed much interest.. sam then suggested we swim out to a boat that was floating a little way out and boy and i pretty much immediately got up and sprinted down the beach, plunged into the waves and successfully commandeered it :D some of the others joined us and we had a short-lived rave on the boat before getting shouted at by two locals and deciding we had better head back.. nevertheless, it was a really good night and i'm glad we went out again!! i am gonna have to keep our going out in check as i haven't exactly budgeted for this many a week.. 

mombasa tour

we went out last night to the full moon again for josh's birthday (: i haven't got any photos from it because my camera ran out of battery but pretty much we all started with 'pre lash' drinks, as these english kids say, and some very loud drinking games.. the taxi to the club was a rave which involved a few girls trying to sit on the roof through the sunroof whilst singing really loudly to whatever songs popped into our heads.. there was an amusing moment where i completely staunched jane shouting eminem verses with my hair going spastic in the wind and all in all i think the taxi driver was fairly amused..

the night once again was a blur of dancing and drinks and a lot of happy people (: halfway through this shisha just magically appeared on our table and i think we ended up sharing 3 of them in a big shisha smoke-passing train which i was so happy about.. gladys, one of the camp leaders, came out with us which was much enjoyed by all and the boys enjoyed themselves riding this giant model bull in the courtyard. josh is i think the happiest drunk i've ever seen in my life and had this huge smile permanently glued on his face, even with his head halfway down a toilet bowl towards the end of it all.. and speaking of which, joe and i once again ended up caretakers to jane this time but once we arrived back at camp she was feeling a little better and we unfolded the club banner that the boys had nicked, broke into the kitchen to look for milk to have some cereal and alex pulled out a guitar which resulted in a mass karaoke session that lasted til around 3:30am.. i'm genuinely surprised that we've gone out twice since our arrival at camp already, i was really not expecting it!!!

------

today was the mombasa tour.. we left camp at 8 and spent the first 2.5hrs in the bus just running errands for those who needed to change traveler's cheques, buy things from the supermarket, pull out cash at the atm, etc etc which was kind of annoying. the drive out to mombasa was long and as we got closer to the ferry across it became evident we'd be stuck there for a while.. there was traffic backed up for at least 3km and we literally crawled along this street for an hour or so, having to eventually ignore the pushy salespeople at our windows waving necklaces and sunglasses in our faces who just stood there and refuse to move on. i swear they target white-skinned persons to the extreme.. it's crazy how much of a minority we are here.

the dirt street was lined with stalls on either side - shopkeepers in makeshift shacks built from wood and corrugated iron with t-shirts, jeans, clothes, jewellery, sarongs and other bits and pieces on display.. i amused myself by pulling faces at the toddlers trying to occupy themselves in front of their parents' various items for sale. this trip has just re-confirmed how absolutely gorgeous i find african babies.. my god. there were random goats and cows popping up around the bends, big pools of muddy water drying in the sun filled with bits of plastic, rubbish everywhere.. this woman was carrying a huge, thick rolled up carpet and a stool on her head!! i have absolutely no idea how they do it..

when we finally arrived in mombasa after a packed ferry crossing in the burning midday sun we arrived at fort jesus to meet up with our guide. we were told we'd be getting a guided tour around the city and later given some spare time to explore on our own.. we were firstly taken to a restaurant as a toilet stop (as opposed to the fort as we'd expected) and had to pay for our usage of their facilities which was slightly irritating.. then we descended some steps to a stone platform near the water that our guide told us was the main trading area for trading ships arriving in mombasa back in the day. there was a fresh-water stone bath where the slaves would get washed and spaces to tie up the ships and unload their cargo. thinking we were indeed embarking on an informative tour, we all gladly moved on to the old town of mombasa.

the old town is nowadays where most of the somali refugees live and also mostly home to some of the more impoverished people of mombasa. it was a mirriad of little alleyways and side-streets, tangles of phone wires overhead, children playing barefoot in the dirt and stray cats scavenging for scraps in rubbish heaps. the walls were aged and cracking, clotheslines everywhere, bars on windows, random carts and small taxis going past almost running us over in the narrow street space.. i think most of the inhabitants we saw were muslims, the girls wearing headscarves sometimes completely tattered yet carefully folded into place, the scruffy children wide-eyed and sometimes shy around us foreigners. we walked onwards behind our guide waiting for our next stop until we were taken into a store he wanted us to look around.

basically from there onwards, we were taken to three different souvenir shops to buy trinkets that i assumed were owned by mates of our guide. i did buy a few mementos but was eager to continue the tour as that was what we'd trekked out to the city for.. but no, after spending a good hour and a half in the stores we were ushered back to our tour bus and asked to pay our guide for his trouble (which wasn't a small price). i think most of us felt quite ripped off by this as we at no point went out to visit the main areas of mombasa city, nor most of the historic areas, and the issue was brought up back at camp.. hopefully the camp director will ensure this doesn't happen again for next month's mombasa tour (:

from there we were taken to eat lunch at a relatively pricey restaurant, which we weren't told about, which resulted in us missing out on the giraffe feeding at Haller Park which we were all really keen on.. most of the group went into the zoo anyway for the last 40mins of opening time but i was part of a small percentage who didn't think the entry price would be worth seeing a few animals that we'd previously all seen at various zoos.. whilst waiting for them outside, we were annihilated by monkeys!! the trees were literally crawling with them and there were so many babies.. i must say i had a fit of hysterics when i saw the males as they have nearly fluorescent blue testicles and bright red penises.. it just looked so comical.. i also stupidly climbed a tree out of boredom and all of a sudden spotted a big, angry male sprinting towards me along a branch.. by the time i knew what was happening he was right in front of me hissing and i immediately just let go of the branch and stacked it to the ground in order to avoid getting mauled and possibly rabies-d to death. i only later realised the bracelet i'd just bought (and loved!!) fell off my wrist during my escape >.<

so yeh, that was pretty much what encompassed our 'city tour'.. i spent so much more money that i expected and we got caught up yet again in the evening traffic back across the ferry before returning to camp. i've gotta say i think the day was still worth it just for the half hour or so we spent walking through the old city. i was really glad to see that.. i am looking forward to next month though and hopefully ending that day with an actual experience of mombasa city (: